


Falling, falling, (landing)

by Amazaria



Category: One Piece
Genre: Angst, Brief mention of Usopp's self-esteem issues, Brief mention of platonic bed sharing because Luffy loves his friends, Canon Compliant, Fluff and Angst, Friendship/Love, Gen, Gratuitous use of italics, Grief, Hurt/Comfort, Minor Character Death, Nakamaship, Post-Thriller Bark, Set before timeskip, This was supposed to be fluff only what happened, Who loves the Strawhats the most me or Coby, Wrong the answer was actually Luffy, at least I'm not a native speaker so I've got an excuse for murdering english, should be read as platonic but I'm not your boss so do whatever you want, sort of..., technically I've re-read it but don't trust me, the last few paragraphs are there to hurt you and nothing else sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-26
Updated: 2018-09-26
Packaged: 2019-07-17 13:38:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,511
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16096754
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amazaria/pseuds/Amazaria
Summary: "Usopp remembers that, when he was little, when his mother was still alive and well, she used to tell him grand stories about his father."(Or: in which Usopp is sad without knowing why and Luffy is a pretty great friend.)





	Falling, falling, (landing)

" _It feels like nothing is easy (it'll never be)_

  _That's alright, let it out,_

 _Talk to me._ "

                                                                 Cavetown, talk to me [(x) ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e3GReUEA2DI)

 

-oOo-

 

Usopp lies awake and stares at the ceiling.

The rain hits softly the wood of the deck, outside, and its sound stops the sniper from falling asleep.

God, he hates the rain.

Mainly because, on the sea, rain might mean storm, and even with a navigator like Nami -hardworking, talented, terrifying-, and an incredible ship like Sunny, a storm, on a ship, is a synonym of possible hours, if not  _days_ , fighting the oceanitself.

And fighting Mother Nature is  _tiring_. Way more tiring than it has any right to be. So he prays whatever deity that's out there, to,  _please_ , stop the rain and let him sleep.

But the rain doesn't stop.

Great.

It doesn’t matter anyway, because Usopp won't be able to fall asleep tonight.

He doesn't know who's on watch at the moment- Franky, maybe. Whoever it is, they probably won't protest if he offers to take their turn.

He stumbles out of bed onto the desk, then climbs up to the crow's nest, which is really dangerous when the rain is pouring and making the wood slippery. It occurs to him that he could fall and break his neck, and nobody would notice.

It's a stupid thought, because he won't fall ; but, you know, it's still possible. Death rarely warns anyone before coming. There has to be dozens of sailors that broke their neck falling and died over the last years.

Shaking his head to dispel the morbid thoughts, Usopp reaches out to push the trapdoor leading to the crow's nest. The warm atmosphere makes him sigh in relief; the stormy nights, on the sea, are both dark and cold.

He finally looks up, searching for the person on watch- oh.

It's Luffy's turn, apparently. It's surprising to see him in the crow's nest ; usually, when he's on watch, he spends his time on Sunny's (and, before that, Merry’s) figurehead. 

 

(They've told him time and time again that he shouldn't, because an enemy might arrive from behind, where he couldn't see them ; but every time, Luffy just laughs and tells them that if an enemy arrive, together they'll surely be able to beat them.

And, well, they can't argue with that, can they ?)

 

Luffy barely waits for Usopp to finish climbing the ladder before engulfing him in a hug.

-Usopp ! he says happily. I was bored ! There's nothing happening and no food. Can you tell a story ?

_Well_ , Usopp thinks,  _there goes my chances of sleeping tonight._

It doesn't really bother him, telling his captain stories. On the contrary ; Luffy's a really good audience, and there's not a story he isn't willing to listen.

The problem is that Usopp's not really in the mood to say any story. Any happy story, anyway.

He must stay silent a second too long, because Luffy releases him from the hug and frowns.

-What's wrong?

Damn his too perceptive captain. Hiding anything from him is way too hard.

He still doesn't respond, and wow, that's not helping his case, is it?

-Nothing! He finally answers, forcing a smile. I'll tell you a story, sure.

He hoped to distract Luffy, but given his captain's expression, it's not working at all _._ He has seen this frown on Luffy's face more time than he can count, directed to a lot of people, and it's a frown that says "I will find what made you sad, and I will  _destroy_  it."

Usopp usually cannot, for the life of him, understand how people can fear Luffy. Luffy is not scary; could not be scary even if he wanted to. Luffy is a smile that can't be hidden and a laugh that can't be silenced. There is nothing scary about Monkey D. Luffy.

But when his captain has this face, when the boyish attitude is traded for a serious one, Usopp understands. People don't live with Luffy; don't party with him, don't hear him laugh at their jokes, have never seen him look at them with unshakable faith. People have seen Luffy destroy cities without knowing that it was for the sake of his friends.

They think anything could be his next target. That he could destroy any island for the sake of his amusement.

Usopp knows that Luffy would destroy anything for the sake of a friend, and sometimes it's terrifying, but mainly, it's comforting.

\- I was just feeling lonely, he finally says.

It's not really the truth, but it's not a lie. Usopp has a feeling that Luffy will understand, anyway.

\- That sucks, says his captain, and he sits down on the floor. I'll tell the story, then !

Luffy sucks at telling stories.

It's not meant to be mean. It's just a fact. Luffy is terrible at telling stories : he'll just skip to the part he thinks is the most interesting, without bothering explaining anything else beside whatever part of the story he loves.

Any other day, any other time, Usopp would have smiled, chased what was bothering him away, and started the grand tale of how he defeated whatever evil beast he can think of.

Today, tonight, Usopp just nods at his captain, silent. He'd like, just this once, to distract himself from his thoughts.

And so Luffy starts to tell his story, his tone somewhat softer than normally - which, from him, isn't much, but it's there nonetheless.

Usopp would like to say Luffy told his story in a normal way : beginning, adventures, ending. 

He didn't. Luffy isn't used to do things the normal way. If Usopp is being honest, he stopped minding that a long time ago.

Usopp remembers that, when he was little, when his mother was still alive and well, she used to tell him grand stories about his father. She'd tell him of all the people Yasopp had met ; all the places he had seen. And Usopp would just sit there, stars in his eyes, and wonder if one day he would, too, see such wonders.

When he asked her, his mother would always say he would. He was his father's son; and so he was destined to be just as great as him. Not that he wasn't already!

He'd like to tell her, now, that he is living adventures as great as the ones she used to tell him. He'd like to tell her how the ocean seems so much bigger, so much scarier, when you're traveling it; but how much fun it is to navigate these insane waters!

He'd like to tell her about his adventures ; about Alabasta, Skypea, Water Seven, Enies Lobby, (and Merry), Thriller Bark; he'd like to describe to her the islands he's been to, the enemies he's faced, the fears he's surmounted, the things he's seen; and above all, he'd like to tell her about his crewmates.

About Zoro, who might seem scary but will lay down his life for any of his crewmates (Kuma, Usopp thinks, was way too close); about Nami, who might love money way too much but would sacrifice all her treasure for the sake of a friend; about Chopper, who's the world's most kind doctor, and who will day be the world's  _best_  doctor.

About Robin, ever so silent and creepy and kind, who would have sacrificed her life for her crewmates, without any second thoughts; about Franky, who's a cyborg and is amazing and with him there, they won't ever loose Sunny (not again, never again will they loose a crewmate); about Brook, who hasn't any flesh at this point but still sings amazingly, and who survived fifty years alone for the sake of a promise, and still would have died to protect a captain he barely knew.

About Luffy, his captain, amazingly kind and plain incredible; his captain, who has challenged the World Government for the sake of a friend; his captain, who forgave him even if he betrayed him. His captain, who, in fact, has complete and blind faith in all of his crewmates, even if they betray him.

His captain, who will become the King of Pirates even if Usopp has to die for it.

 

(He won't tell it out loud, though. Luffy wouldn't like it; Luffy would die before he let harm befall any if his crewmates.)

(Any of them would die for each others, in fact.)

 

He'd like to tell his mother about how this crew has saved him, has saved each other, over and over again; about how they’ve become more familiar than Syrup Island and way more comforting; about how they’ve pushed him beyond his limits time and time again; about how he  _loves_ them, every single one, about how he couldn’t imagine his life anyway else.

He’d like to tell his mother; but he can’t, because she’s  _dead_.

He misses her. He doesn't, usually; well yes, he does, but in a familiar way; she’s just a thought at the back of his head sometimes, when he sees something she might have marveled at, but the truth is, she’s been gone for too long for him to think about her constantly.

But tonight, he feels her absence like a sharp knife in his side, like a heaviness on his chest. 

Tonight, he misses her laugh and the way she looked at the sea; tonight, he’d like to be able to send her letters, like he does sometimes with Kaya.

Tonight, he feels alone, terribly alone, and defenseless against a world that lacks his mother's warmth, his mother's laugh, his mother's love.

It’s kinda stupid, to miss her so sharply, for no reason at all. It’s not her birthday ; nor the anniversary of her death. 

It’s just a random day, and earlier Nami casually mentionned how much her mother would have loved to see her trees travelling the world. 

And suddenly Usopp couldn’t stop thinking about how much his mother would have loved Sunny, if she had been alive.

Which she isn’t ; and after all this time it shouldn’t hurt, but it  _does._

It’s not fair. It’s not  _fair._

Usopp realizes suddenly that he hasn’t listened to a single word his captain said.

He looks up, ready to apologize, because  _he_ ’s the one who’s supposed to tell stories, and Luffy only tried because he wanted to comfort his sniper, which he shouldn’t have to do, because Usopp’s upset for such a  _stupid_  reason-

But his words seem stuck in his throat, and, oh, no, he’s about to cry.

Luffy’s eyes widen ; and suddenly Usopp’s pulled into a hug.

He tries to refrain himself from sobbing his heart out in the middle of the night, while his captain is supposed to guard the ship; but he fails, and soon enough he’s clutching Luffy’s back like his life depends on it.

He’s crying, in the middle of the night, about his mother’s death (about his stupid feeling of overwhelming loneliness.)

 

(The scene is eerily familiar. How many time has he done this while living on Syrup Island ? 

At least, he isn’t really alone anymore.)

 

Luffy doesn’t say anything, which is good, because Usopp’s not sure he could handle the soul-piercing words his captain comes up with sometimes.

After at least twenty minutes of crying, slowly, his sobs subsides, until there’s no more tears running down his face, and he’s left holding (hanging onto) Luffy desperately for no real reason. Usopp lets his hands fall back in place at his sides, and forces himself to look at his captain in the eyes, rather than stare at the floor.

Usopp can’t tell what Luffy’s thinking; his captain’s eyes are indecipherable. Luffy’s still- not completely motionless, but stiller than usual. That’s something that doesn’t happen unless he’s serious - or seriously injured and/or sick. Even in his sleep, Luffy moves; oh, not a lot, but Usopp’s been living with him for too long to not have noticed.

 

(Usopp lost count of the number of times he got woken up by his friend's movement, when Luffy decides to sleep next to the sniper for no reason.)

(Luffy almost never sleeps in his own bed; if he's not annoying Zoro because " _Zoro slept all day, he can't be tired!",_ he's curled up in Chopper's hammock, nodding energically at whatever the little doctor is describing, or in Sanji's, making the chef promise him to cook more meat the next day, or in Franky's, enthuastically asking the cyborg about Sunny, or in Brook's, listening to yet another lullaby, or in Usopp's, trying to convince the sniper to tell  _"one more story, Usopp, please!"._ The only ones who are relatively safe are the women, though it's not guaranteed; if he wants too, Luffy's perfectly capable of barging in the girls' room in the evening despite Nami's protests, and to stay there until the morning.)

 

But right now, Luffy isn’t moving ; he stays like that, observing Usopp, eyes dark, mouth dowturned, eyebrows furrowed, for a second or two more, and then his blinding smile is back to its usual place.

Usopp’s not sure what just happened.

\- Can you tell a story ? Asks his captain, and it’s soft and gentle, like he's not sure his friend won't collapse if he speaks too loudly.

No.

Luffy knows Usopp ; trusts him more than Usopp trusts himself. He doesn't believe that his friend will fall apart so easily.

But kindness never hurts. 

 

(And Luffy is nothing but kind to his friends.)

 

Once again, for the hundredth time, and with as much amazement as the first, Usopp realizes how much he doesn't deserve his captain, a man that would go to war with the universe if that was what it took for Usopp to be happy.

But lingering on that thought isn't a good idea; down that road, after the first overwhelming feelings of love and wonder _(what did I ever did to deserve you ?)_ comes doubts and regrets  _(coward, idiot, weakling, traitor- you left and he trusted you and he shouldn't have let you come back)_.

And so Usopp shakes his head and starts to tell a story, which, he hopes, makes more sense than Luffy's.

His mother might be gone - but not everyone is, and perhaps, in the end, this is what he needs to remember to tell her.

 

-oOo-

 

(And then Sabaody happens, and he wakes up, and he's alone, truly alone, and  _what if they're all dead?_

And as the hours pass by, the  _what if they're dead_ becomes s _urely they are._

And he gives up, simply gives up, grieving for his friends and the life he had, and he continues like that until there's a newspaper one day with a message from his captain- from _Luffy_.

And, well, if being alone two years is what it takes to help Luffy, who saved his life time and time again without asking for anything in return, except friendship, Usopp will do it ; of course he will.

That doesn't mean it won't hurt, but- Usopp's survived nearly all his childhood alone. Two years is nothing.

Or so he tells himself, anyway.)

**Author's Note:**

> I love them so much
> 
> Also I've been listening on repeat to "talk to me" by cavetown while writing this so you should check it out

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Sukat Sh'lomecha](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16138859) by [grainjew](https://archiveofourown.org/users/grainjew/pseuds/grainjew)




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